|
| Why can't anything good just stay that way? Why have we been conditioned to not only expect but anticipate roller coasters and heartbreaking experiences we shouldn't have? It shouldn't be this way. I shouldn't be so blatantly disrespected and ignored. It's been made very clear what my insecurities are, it's been made very clear what makes me most unhappy and what makes me feel like absolute shit. But it doesn't fucking matter. Not of that ever does. Just one lie after another, one face refusing to open up and just fucking talk. And I thought I bottled everything up. Fucking tell me off one more time, asshole. And I'll delete the fucking bitches for you. Then it'll be a fucking party. Go to hell. Take her with you. | | |
| My boyfriend
is the greatest
person I've ever met.
And I truly love
him with all of my
heart. And would
do absolutely anything
for him.
I trust him completely,
and want to spend the
rest of my life with him.
He's my best friend,
my greatest ally,
my other half.
And I wouldn't trade that
for anything in the world.
I'm sensitive, and
let things bother me
far too easily.
But I pledge
to do my absolute
best to sit back
and let him live
a little without me.
With all the trust I can
give. Because I know
that he loves me.
And I love him.
And always will. | | |
| "there was a 'doctor' and his wife,
and she was beeaauutifull."
the greatest night of my life.
the greatest weekend of my life.
i'll never forget it.
as long as i live.
it's so hard having him so far away.
and the visits are more than i could ever imagine.
always.
this time,
homecoming weekend.
but homecoming simply wasn't in our plans.
an hour of bliss.
an hour of pure ecstasy.
pure love.
lust.
adoration.
need.
greed.
desperation.
happiness.
perfection.
just the two of us.
the only two people in the world
for one hour.
one hour that stretched into an eternity.
just us.
no one else.
nothing else mattered.
pleasure.
so much.
but the amount of love.
of togetherness.
i'll never feel whole again
without him beside me.
i'm convinced.
he made me feel
so amazing
so beautiful
so special
special to him.
amazing to him.
his everything
even though
primal instincts
most definitely kicked in
it was amazing.
and even though
i hit my head
on the roof of the car
more than once
we laughed.
together.
in the middle of
something so spectacular.
we laughed together.
we're meant to be.
perfect for each other.
i'm so very convinced.
and i'll never
want anyone else
for as long as i live.
other than our completely perfect night
we spent the weekend together
in each other's arms
in each other's company.
complete bliss.
i miss it.
but now i'll just have to wait for
our next weekend.
and i must say.
i can't wait.
<3
| | |
| I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
<3
Forever.
| | |
| Still not entirely used to this.
Still don't know exactly
how to handle it.
But I'm getting so so much better.
Today was probably
the best Saturday I've ever had.
Spent it with my Nan and cousin.
Went to the movies, got coffee,
went to WalMart.
It's allll good.
At their house now.
Sleeping over.
Going fishing
in the morning.
=]
Oh yeah.
Ashi's gonna
go fishing.
Ok.
Not exactly.
Crabbing, more like.
But you get
the picture. =]
It's going to be
so fucking great.
And I'm so excited.
^^
I'm living still.
Still breathing.
Laughing.
Smiling.
Enjoying myself.
I can make
it through this.
I will make
it through this.
With or without him.
I can do this.
I've had practice.
=]
I can live
Sure I miss him.
Terribly.
And I hate that
he's barely talking
to me, even
when he does call.
But I can deal.
I've done this all before.
<3
| | |
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